For many survivors, leaving abusive relationships can be difficult. But when abuse occurs with religious families, an added layer of religious, faith-built guilt can make the experience feel even more isolating.

“It is taught to us in the Bible, that I constantly was told to read growing up in a Catholic household, that we must refrain from divorce in marriage, so I felt trapped and isolated,” says one survivor, Mary, who now works for the Diocese of Hexham and Newcastle, reflecting on how her deep religious upbringing shaped her experience of violence in her home.

Her former husband, she explains, regularly quoted scripture as a way to exert control. “He was also a religious man and would cite Bible passages to me every day,’ she says. “Growing up in a religious house, my parents were always strict on abiding by the Bible therefore certain beliefs and ideologies stuck with me. I also received Christian counselling, but my councillor always told me to abide by the bible and my husband despite his actions.”

Her story reflects an issue that is not so talked about, the intersection of religion and domestic abuse. While the Catholic Church has publicly condemned abuse, the messages survivors hear in church or from religious councillors can still reinforce silence.

According to the World Health Organization (2024), nearly one-third (27%) of women aged 15-49 who have been in relationships report experiencing physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner. Similarly, UK based domestic violence organization refuge reports that 93% of defendants in domestic abuse cases are male and 84% of victims are female.

The survivor further said: “When I divorced my partner after finally choosing my well-being over my religion, I lost a lot of friends who were also from the same religious community, because of their ideals and morals, which made me feel even more guilty, but this community I now work in have accepted me with open arms I like to say, I can still believe in God and also believe in a better life for myself.”